We don’t want to be rude, since they are new to our circle and several of our friends really like them, but we think that most of the donations go into their pockets. Next time, I’d like to say that we’ll consider a donation if they’ll give us a copy of their organization’s financials, which I think will put an end to the matter, but my spouse says that is too aggressive.
But don’t ask for financials, either — not if the point is to deflect while keeping things group-friendly, because that is decidedly hostile. Try “Asked and answered”; blank stare; or a joking “Whom can I pay, besides you, to make this pressure stop?”
You’re struggling because you’ve committed to a veneer of civility only to maintain ties with other friends, not with them, and it’s in conflict with your better judgment and integrity. With any luck, the rest of your circle will tire of them soon, but in the meantime, keep a polite distance and harden your shell.
